The tragic death of an elephant

"Yesterday was one of these days I never thougt it would exist. It was an exiting day, a shocking day but also very enlighting. While I write these lines my things are already packed and I just wait for dawn to arrive to leave this godforsaken place to go back to England, my home country. Why do I leave? This is a good question... Maybe because I don't belong to this strange country, but I think this is only an excuse to escape from what happened yesterday and which still shakes my bones. I never was so afraid in my whole life.
Yesterday an elephant was shot. This sounds very pale but it isn't. The day before yesterday I had a little chat with Eric Blair. He is the sub-divisional police officer but most of the time I think he is a very strange person. He detests the British Empire but he works for it. He feels a great sympathy for the natives although they really hate him. Sometimes he is so frustrated of their behaviour, he looks close to tears when you talk with him about these subjects. But sometimes, when I look at this forelorn man I get the feeling that he is not only lonely and frustrated but also very brave. Since yesterday I know it is true.
Yesterday an elephant raved town. He had already destroyed a bamboo hut and killed a native when I arrived nearly at the same time as Blair. When he saw the corpse his face became white and ashy but I'm not sure if it was because of the smashed body or because of the burden, which laid on his shoulders. Maybe it was both of it. He sent me away to get a bigger riffle to kill the wild beast. His own was to small, maybe because he hadn't realised until then how dangerous the situation really was. I hurried to get the riffle and when I was back a crowd followed us to find the animal. Blair didn't look very well, you could see that the situation made him feel uncomfortable. We both knew that the crowd only wanted to see something exiting happen and of course they wanted to get some meat but what can we do? We are only strangers in this odd country and we cannot change the people, anyway how hard we try. When we finally found the elephant he was already calm again. It didn't look dangerous in any way and I still have doubts if it was really necessary to kill it. It didn't look wild nor angry but peaceful. I leered at Blair and I think he had the same doubts as me but there still was the crowd. And then, after he came up to the elephant, he aimed and shot. He missed the elephant's brain so it didn't die at the spot. First it only altered, then it collapsed but so slow that you could see the agony of his death. It was horrible to watch but it was even more horrible when I realised that the elephant understood that it was dying. My body still shakes when I think of it. Blair shot several times but it didn't want to die. And the crowd was waiting to get their meat. I couldn't watch it anymore, it was to cruel and after Blair left there was nothing more to see. He looked so desperate. Was it because he didn't want to do it? I'm not sure but I'm sure he felt the way I did.
Yesterday I realised there is nothing we can do in this country. Who are we to rule this country, these strange people? They don't want us, we are only puppets; the Empire uses us and the natives use us and I don't want to bear this anymore. So I decided to leave and never come back. This is the best thing you can do. After all, I never want to get in such a situation as Blair was yesterday. I think I wouldn't have stand it if it was me. Blair really is a breave man and he gave me the reality check I needed."